Warnings in April 2005

I warn you now that the coming months are not going to be pretty. Turn another page, and you’ll see one of the many reasons. Fernando Black has threatened to come back. He is an old friend and will take this warning in jest, but you shouldn’t. The last time he left, he ran out on over 10,000RMB in bar tabs. We paid them. Women called our office for months cursing him. A few colleagues of mine and I had to do double time to complete his contracts. He has the magnetism of a black hole, but at the same time repels leaches. Prepare yourself for this man.

I warn you that the mosquitoes are coming. They will be atrocious for you, but for us, they will be life threatening. That means that whenever you see any one of us at the bar, we will be even more obnoxious than ever. You see, we work in an office that’s the equivalent of a shanty town back kitchen: screens are nonexistent, the ground nearly dirt, and the toilet a hole in the ground. The mosquitoes are going to devour us. But our poverty shouldn’t be any of your concern. We live in Hangzhou, so it’s all good, and if you don’t agree, and think it’s bad because we still don’t have a webpage, then I will warn you again. We aren’t going to do one. If you really want one, then go to www.hangzhouexpat.com, and add what you like in there. We don’t like the expat thing because of its exclusionary connotation, but it’s a decent site that can be built up nevertheless.

Finally, I warn you all that if we have to keep organizing all the events around here, I’m never going to be able to get rid of the shakes. Give my liver a break guys, and make things happen. I like my drink, but not so much when it’s forced upon me for work. Call us a week or so before the end of the month with your event, whatever it is, and we’l get it in print. You have a magazine now, so use it as your tool to really make life something more than a 9 to 5 job. Just because it’s not going to be pretty for some of us, doesn’t mean it doesn’t have to be for you.

Drink beer, and be merry,

By Tim Hoerle