Warnings in November 2008

It was one of those days. I didn’t have to get up early, but I kept waking up. I had worked two short days over the weekend, so nobody was expecting me in the office before 11:00 AM on Monday. I got up at 7:30 AM, then again at around 8:00 AM, and finally again at 9:00 AM. I had gone to bed at 11:30 PM the night before. I was feeling good under the cool sheets, but a bit like a dude that’s been in a hospital for too long. You know the feeling, when you’ve been sitting for way too long in one position. I had to get up before I would start to get tired again, fall asleep, and then wake up even more tired than before. Why does it work that way? Sleep for 9 hours and I’m fine, but sleep for 10 hours and I’m a wreck. I wish my mobile phone had a couple of features that read my sleep patterns. I would be going home in a taxi on a Thursday night and the phone would tell me when my optimal wake up time would be. It would be 3:00 AM and instead of the phone telling me that there are 4 hours and 45 minutes to go before the alarm goes off, it would tell me that it would be ideal if I slept until 10:00 AM. That’s the idea. We could make it the Sleep Phone.

You see, I just got a new phone. I will never use seventy five percent of the functions it has. I guess I could have just gotten an old 800RMB Nokia, but I couldn’t. I had to go for some 2,480RMB job. It’s not that I don’t want to save the money. I could use a bit more of that. It’s that I just think that there might be some new application available one day soon that I will want to use. I’m also not able to blame a cheap phone on my technological deficiencies. If I had seen the Sleep Phone by any of the somewhat respectable phone makers, I would have paid 500RMB more for it. It would record the number of hours of sleep you’ve had and then make recommendations. There would be a Super Alarm function. This alarm would go off for at least 5 minutes of unbearable blaring noise. It would shut itself off when the battery was low, but be able to turn itself on for the morning alarm. The Sleep Phone would let me know when it thought I should go to sleep. Millions of people around the world would grab one. On the other hand, I’m quite sure the phone guys have plenty of co-workers thinking about this stuff anyway. For all I know, there could already be a Super Alarm application out there. All I have to do is download it. Now if I only knew how to download things, I might be able to have a decent conversation on what phones should and should not have.

By Tim Hoerle