Warnings in October 2011

Have you ever planned something and it not come to fruition?Well I certainly have. We got an internet connection for our television the other day, and it just wouldn’t work. The guy came time and time again and it seemed as if no matter what he did, it would not work once he got out of the building. I mean seriously, the guy got it to work each and every time he came, but once he left the building, it mysteriously turned off. I had never had a satellite tv before, nor had I ever had a tv that worked through the internet, but my friends swore by it, so I decided to give it a go. I mean wasn’t I just in Shanghai a week ago, and wasn’t their internet tv just working perfectly? The place had at least five hundred guys in there watching the Ireland Australia rugby match, and it skipped out for all of two seconds. Again, I was planning my whole week around having the new tv stations, and no. they simply didn’t turn on. Why doesn’t our tv here work like the one in Shanghai? I put it down to being in a small city, so I just wrote it off, but when an acquaintance bar owner from Jinghua, Zhejiang walked into the bar and said that he had both satellite tv and internet tv, I started to go mad. How the hell could he have both, when I could have neither? It’s not for a lack of trying. Firstly, I tried many years ago, only to find that my building faced the wrong way, and then I tried and paid 300USD to get NFL Gamepass through the internet, and I was only to watch one half of a game. That’s right, I was only able to watch a half of one game. So I was psyched to finally find a dude that assured me that his internet tv would work. He thankfully didn’t charge me a thing until the thing works, which it hasn’t. But anyway, this’s what makes a man patient, now isn’t it?

I’ve got to be smarter when I live here. Didn’t I stop complaining about the taxi drivers years ago? Yes, one time, a few years ago, I was a bit slippery with the drink, when I got so pissed off with a taxi driver that I refused to pay him, and he called the cops. They came and decided that I was too drunk to make better judgment, and I was thrown in jail for a night. So from that night forward, I decided not to ever be angry with a taxi driver again, and who’d have thought that a dude as stupid as me could do this? But I did it, and never became angry with a taxi driver again. Maybe I shouldn’t make any plans to watch any sort of tv again. That would make me a bit smarter than I am, now wouldn’t it.

By Tim Hoerle