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MORE Magazine’s Seasonal Lexicontamination
By Jack Cameron

A – in no way snarky – Guide to the Words Yule Need this Holiday Season

adoration: (1) The state or condition of adoring, which is more or less like a state or condition or loving, but with antiseptic properties, the aroma of white linen, and the taste of weak, warm chamomile tea; (2) an unspecific expanse of time, e.g., “I’ve been waiting for quite adoration to get my 12-piece McNuggets.”

angel: (1) A mythical being, possibly of either sex or ungendered, found or claimed to be common enough in heaven, hospitals, and on battle fields, but found chiefly in Victoria’s Secrets advertisements, catwalks, and the tabletops of strip-clubs; (2) the name of approximately one-in-14,000 Chinese girls born between 1980 and 1990. The former are often responsible for annunciations and are known to be present in delusions, while one-in-six of the latter are often totally irresponsible and thoroughly delusional with respect to the aptness of their name.

annunciation: (1) Notice of something too important for a text or Tweet, although rumors abound that Gabriel has followed the Supreme Pontiff’s lead and opened a WeChat; the word refers most often to an event requiring polished shoes and shirts with collars, and possibly an RSVP; (2) the wafer-thin neutral ground between pronunciation and connunciation, or it would be if there were such things as connunciations, which we think there should be.

baby: (1) The ultimate fashion accessory; (2) palpable, audible, and too often unfragrant evidence that one or both of the parties responsible for its manufacture have very bad luck, or else have lost hope in a fulfilling and rewarding future of independent self-actualization. When the baby is claimed to have divine parentage none of the foregoing applies, but chances are the cards are stacked against the kid and that things won’t end well for him or her, especially her.

bells: Even when on bobtails ringing, they toll for thee.

candle: Life, it once was said, is a game not worth one; and since the original was in French and quoted approvingly by Schopenhauer - Le jeu ne vaut pas la chandelle - who the hell are we to disagree, oui?

carolling: (1) Semi-musical harassment by people whose wardrobe comes exclusively from L.L. Bean and revere Garrison Keillor as divine erotica; (2) musical semi-harassment by gangs of apprentice stalkers. Why did this ever seem to be a good idea to anyone? (3) very likely the name of at least 160,000 Chinese women who either lack Anglophone friends, or whose Anglophone friends lack honesty; (4) what one does with Carol in private but wouldn’t talk about to anyone who knows her personally.

choir: (1) An intentional assemblage of aspirant soloists, each with too much free time on his or her hands and more than likely a terrible sex-life, and generally performing ensemble under the attempted direction of someone who cannot sing but has a large collection of Hummel figures; (2) in some English topolects, a synonym for the verb ‘to get’, e.g., “I’m hopin’ to choir some new Realtree camouflage for this sears wile pig hunt.”

December: (1) The last month you’ll ever need, even if you don’t deserve it; (2) the punctuation mark in an 11-month custodial sentence, typically an exclamation point or interrobang; (3) a thirty-day farce that began last December 31st with a 48-hour satyr play and follows upon a 48-week long tragedy.

driedel: If you have to ask, you’ll never get it.

elf (pl. ‘elves’): Before gaige kaifang (改革开放, “reform-and-opening-up”) the world’s leading manufacturers of toys. But that’s a thing of the past, now isn’t it? Note, too, that the Claymation elves of Rankin-Bass (Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer) look nothing like those in Lord of the Rings. There’s no freakin’ way Arroyn would be hunched over an assembly-line workstation in the sub-zero arctic assembling toys. So when did elves drop-out of the blue-collar semi-skilled labor force and become buff and hot?

eve: Short for ‘evening’, which itself is always either too long or too short. Note, not all evenings are correctly referred to as ‘eves,’ and when one is, rest assured it is going to be expensive.

Frankincense: A short-lived perfume by the people who created Boo-Berry and Count Chockula; (2) referring to nearly miraculous powers possessed by some Franks in respect to situations in which the honesty or credibility of one's intentions are in doubt, or where outcomes are uncertain, conjectural, or indeterminate; thus the word is followed by phrases like "when a fella's bluffin", "when it’s gonna rain like hell", and "if the fish are biting’."

festive: (1) requiring medical attention and antibiotics; (2) used to describe the atmosphere at an obligatory holiday event that nobody truly enjoyed. See also ‘seasonal.’

Feliz navidad: (1) How a large part of the BRIC says joyeux noel; (2) the title of a song, prolonged exposure to which may induce seizure activity and homicidal ideations.

garland: What every pipe cleaner wants to be when it grows up. The ubiquitous presence of these tinsel boas serves to constrict one’s ability to ignore holiday obligations, but we have yet to find one strong enough to use as a hangman’s noose or garrote. See also ‘tinsel.’

gift: Occasionally a genuine token of appreciation, esteem, or affection, bestowed kenotically and with pure intentions by one sentient being upon another, for the express purpose of causing joy or delight. More typically a ‘gift’ is a down-payment, fee, fine, form of tribute, wergild, or revenge, but with nicer wrapping than usual for these sorts of things. When in the form of a horse, it should under no circumstances be subjected to oral examination; when in the form of an oral examination, it should under no circumstances leave either party hoarse.

hark: Colloquial Angelese for, “Yo! Listen the fuck up!” But then again, the word is always colloquial in Angelese, and in Angelese only. For anyone other than a native-speaking Angelphone to use the word is just plain weird. See also ‘silent’ and ‘quiet’.

Hanukah: A much more sensible tradition based on a much more credible story, but, like, nowhere near as fun as its gentile counterpart. Kugel isn’t that good.

Ho ho ho: Why the KTV was very very very expensive.

holiday: Literally holy day, although very few holidays have anything holy about them anymore. Thank god. ‘Holiday’ is generally translated into Chinese as jie or jie ri (节, 节日), which is itself often translated into English as ‘festival.’ The semantic extension of ‘festival,’ however, does not overlap exactly with that of the word ‘holiday’, viz., there might be a festival in the absence of a holiday, and not every holiday is a festival or consists of distinctly festive aspects. Fair enough. (See also ‘festive’.) ‘Festival’ has its origins in the word feast, and although neither all holidays nor all festivals traditionally require or actually result in feasts, that can’t be helped. The allied etymologies make the phase holiday feast sort of redundant, but the phrase “It is a very festive holiday full of feasting and festivities” is intelligible, if repellent. See also ‘holy.’

holy: “Is something holy because it is loved by the gods, or, do the gods love something because it is holy?” With this question thus did Socrates torture poor young Euthyphro on the archon’s porch – though the former sure got his comeuppance, didn’t he? The word describes something amenable to or capable of being subject to desecration – viz.

If it cannot be desecrated, then it is not holy;
It is holy. ------------------------------------------
Therefore: It can be desecrated.

Note however, that the syllogism…

If it is holy, it can be desecrated;
It is not holy. ----------------------------------------------
Therefore: It cannot be desecrated.

…is strictly speaking invalid, having commit the fallacy of denying the antecedent, and one should never, ever deny one’s antecedents, whatever precedent they might have inadvertently set. So what, then, is the true nature of the holy? We might advance upon an answer of sorts by observing that this adjective is most commonly appended to vulgar synonyms for faeces and fornication, and thereby used to express surprise or shock. Draw your own conclusions.

holly: What any self-respecting cactus would prefer to be, if it could.

immaculate: Cleaner than you could possibly conceive.

jolly: Used to describe someone who is good-natured, prone to laughter, and on the chubby side. No one with washboard abs or anorexia was ever described as ‘jolly.’ See also ‘merry.’

k: The eleventh letter in the English alphabet; when appearing after an ‘o’, it expresses agreement, affirmation, capitulation, or resignation; when appearing before an ‘o’, it expresses sudden and acute incapacitation; when following any number larger than ‘0’, an indication of a remuneration aspiration; when it appears on its own, it is special.

Kwanza: Multiculturalism’s finest brain tumor, well-intentioned but non-benign.

list: He’s making one, and checking it twice – see also ‘Schindler, Oskar’

love: For some, the ruling Force or Power in the universe; for the rest of us, the root of the trade in blood diamonds and the leading cause of divorce.

magi: Plural of ‘magus,’ which shares roots with ‘magic’ and hence ‘magician’; in the context of Bethlehem, it refers specifically to a trio of wise men who followed a star to a barn in order to dole-out hard-currency, incense, and body lotion to the kid of a couple they didn’t even know. Just try that today. (2) the variant ‘Magii’ is sometimes used as the plural form for “two Maggies”, though in our experience one Maggie at any one time is more than enough to deal with.

manger: One who is in charg, like a supervior; noun form of the verb to mange.

merry: Something one makes, apparently. See also ‘jolly.’

messiah: Superman, Batman, Spiderman, James Bond, Gandhi, and Will Smith all rolled into one para-apocalyptic musical masterpiece that eventually becomes tedious and lacking in credibility.

mistletoe: One of two well-known and proven herbal excuses for kissing a complete stranger, and not the one we prefer. In the holiday context, an essential part of a creepy tradition that allows Party A to plant one on Party B just because s/he had the misfortune of standing beneath a species of poisonous plant at a party. “But there was mistletoe overhead!” is not known to be an acceptable defense against charges of frottage or sexual assault.

newborn: (1) The first installment on a lifetime of obligation; (2) the preface to a book that’s better to read than to write oneself – see also ‘baby’ and ‘sleep-deprivation.’

North Pole: According to Comet and Cupid, used by Dancers – as well as Prancers and Vixens.

O: come all ye faithful [Ed.]

ornament: The opposite of necessity, though the precise definition depends entirely on your hood. Ornaments are to staples what chocolate is to nutrition, hence their much-deserved popularity.

poinsettia: Species of hunting dog popular south of the Mason-Dixon line.

present: (1) Not yet, and not-yet historical; (2) now; (3) when used as a verb, a polite way of saying “Whip it out!” as in, “Please present your passport and boarding card for inspection.” See also ‘gift.’

quiet: (1) When all is calm, or, when someone’s not too bright or, is very bright but just bored; (2) the correct immediate response to ‘hark.’ See also ‘silent.’

resolution (New Year’s): (1) The last-minute rationale for much New Year’s Eve dissolution and gratuitous self-pollution; (2) elevated aspirations generally contemplated in the light of chronic self-deprecations.

return policy: After cash, the only gift you ever need.

ribbon: What your friends will give you for your shite wrapping – or shit rapping.

rum-pa-tum-tum: The family-values version of Bang a gong/get it on, this was apparently an acceptable form of currency in Roman-occupied Palestine. Note however that playing a rum-pa-tum-tum on your drum is nowadays not quite the gift it once was, and will rarely make friends and influence people in the way a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue Label or a carton of Chunghwa cigarettes will (unless, of course, you are responding to an annunciation). No drum? Not to worry. There’s an app for that.

SAD: Abbreviation for Seasonal Affective Disorder, which was added to the DSM-III(R) when really insightful graduate students at Harvard Medical School noticed that acute onset but non-comorbid depression seems to afflict a number of otherwise healthy people in northern climes during the month of December, particularly those stupid enough to live year-round in northern climes and who for that reason tend to lack sufficient exposure to sunlight during winter months, and who for unrelated reasons have had more than sufficient exposure to the reality that the holidays can suck.

seasonal: (1) Adjective referring mainly to qualities, properties, or features of non-durable consumer goods that you neither missed nor needed one month earlier and will neither need nor miss one month hence, for which reason you probably shouldn’t get too excited about them in the first place. If eggnog and gingerbread were really that good we’d be taking them in our coolers to the beach, but we don’t now do we? (2) adjective describing the predictably recurrent but ephemeral, and the dust-collecting. See also ‘holiday.’

silent: Similar to quiet, but quieter. The idea of “silent night” (nox silens), in these latitudes, somehow became ping’an jie (平安节), “Peaceful-Night Festival,” which, on the face of it, seems like a nice gesture to Joe, Mary, the miracle baby, and to all parties who hold The Birthday in especial reverence. Fact is, ping’an jie is one of Middle Earth’s biggest piss-up nights of the year; swaddling clothes, benumbed stable beasts, and the fulfillment of messianic prophecies ain’t got nothing to do with this jie, which has about as much ping and an as the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue has sports. Book your tables in advance, and make sure your employer is giving you the 26th off so ye merry gentlemen (and women) can rest -- dismayed or otherwise. Silent, my ass. In metro-China wise men and virgins alike will be running with the bulls, and a few lions lying with not so silent lambs, and lying to all of them.

stockings: Articles of clothing which, for the young, are hung from the chimney with care, hopeful that one will awake on the morning of the 25th of December to find them stuffed with goodies; for adults, articles of clothing clumsily clutched at or teased-off with toes the night of the 24th of December, mindless or heedless of the fact that - sometime around noon on the 25th - you’ll probably want to find both of them and fly up the chimney before s/he awakes.

tinsel: (1) Singularly responsible for more chronic and terminal respiratory failure among quality vacuum cleaners than any other object in the known universe, except possibly for pine needles; (2) silvery material generally made of non-fibrous textiles and used to further humiliate once proud Douglas Firs and other conifers which were minding their own business before they were murdered by a redneck with a chainsaw to satisfy the quixotic pagan winter whims of gentile and Jew alike; (3) anything cheap used to gild a dying lily.

upon: A curious word, the existence of which is owed to the fact that ‘on’ simply wasn’t good enough for some people, who, being petty and never satisfied with what they had, began clamoring about the need to be able to describe in one fell swoop how a thing is both up and on another thing at the same time, viz., “The star is not just on the top of the tree, it is up on the top of the tree.” As if Down on the top of the tree would make any sense at all. And so, without permission to do so, a number of otherwise sensible folks began to stick ‘up’ next to ‘on’; and since dissent was minimal, they got away with it.

But were they satisfied with that? No. Before long they then began to complain about the space between the up and the on, insisting that it was simply too much to bear; viz.,

A: There, are you happy now? I have put a star up on the top of the tree!

B: Well that’s fine and good; but what do you intend to do about that gap between ‘up’ and ‘on’? I don’t like the way it looks, and we’re expecting guests. Fix it.

Why that should have been the case is anybody’s guess, although it is true that Nature abhors a vacuum and that some publishers pay by the word; and so with a removal of the vacuity between ‘up’ and ‘on’ Nature and publishers got their way. As they usually do. We have been living with the consequences of this ever since, but no one seems to care.

Vatican (City): Europe’s smallest independent state of denial.

White Christmas: (1) “Thank you for flying Bogota Airlines. We hope you have a pleasant destination, and wish you a safe journey to your final trip;” (2) ardently desired by children and by anyone who has never needed to operate a snowblower at 5 a.m. in pajamas, or go over the river and through the woods to grandmother’s house in an old Datsun with bald tires and no rear-window de-icer.

wreath: a symbolic display of amputated vegetable matter that shows in miniature how the circle of life starts to look unpleasant and smell funny after a few weeks’ worth of exposure to life.

Xerox: The name of the machine you defaced and assaulted with your bare buttocks while drunk at the office Christmas party where you subsequently lost consciousness and your co-workers’ respect. [Ed.]

Yule: The first part of a spoken command, prediction, or threat, and most often followed by with words “just have to get used to it”, “love it, trust me”, and “be sorry”.

Z: (1) the 26th and final letter of any halfway-decent alphabet; (2) in the plural, colloquial for sleep – but always and only in the plural. How a single letter can have a plural form is beyond us; but like it or not no one ever talks about “catching a Z” or “needing a Z,” even when it might make perfect sense to do so – e.g.:

- intern: Oh, man. I’m dead tired. I need to catch some Z’s before I crash.

- doctor: I’m afraid there’s no time for that; but I’ll let you have one Z right after we finish this appendectomy. Just one and you’ll owe me big-time.

(3) entities that elude children, both naughty and nice, on the evening of the 24th of December, excited as they are about the prospect of a nocturnal visitation by an obese senior citizen with a ratty beard and sack full of electronic goods; (4) entities forsaken freely by adults, both naughty and nice, in their annual pursuit of comfort and joy, comfort and joy.

zymurgy: The process by which yeast breaks down sugars to make alcohol, and by extension, the holidays, tolerable for those unfortunate enough to have to spend it with their families. [Ed.]

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International Conference on Bioinformatics and Computational Biology

Bioinformatics and Computational Biology has become an important part of many areas of biology. ICBCB conference series will be held annually to provide an interactive forum for presentation and discussion on Bioinformatics and Computational Biology. The conference welcomes participants from all over the world who are interested in developing professional ties to and/or exploring career opportunities in the region. The conference should serve as an ideal forum to establish relationships from within China and other regions of the world.

Time: 8am - 6pm, Mar. 21st - 23rd
Location: Zhejiang University Yuquan Campus


2019 4th International Conference on Renewable Energy and Smart Grid (ICRESG 2019)

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Time: 9am - 6pm, Mar. 28th - 31st
Location: Hampton by Hilton Hangzhou Binjiang


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The Asia Conference on Power and Electrical Engineering. ACPEE is co-organized by Auckland University of Technology, American University of Madaba (AUM) and Hong Kong Society of Mechanical Engineers(HKSME), technically sponsored by Shanghai Jiao Tong University and Zhejiang University.

Time: 9am - 6pm, Mar. 28th - 31st
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What To Do For Chinese Lantern Festival

Lantern Festival marks the last day of the Spring Festival and officially ends the Chinese New Year celebrations. This fun festival is mostly celebrated at nighttime to see the colorful lanterns flying high in the dark sky. In addition to seeing the lanterns flying, during this festival, families gather to attend four other major activities on this special day.

The belief during this festival is by lighting a lantern, you make a wish. So Chinese families light their lanterns and pray for health, fortune, wealth or make even more precise wishes. It is said that if you want your wish to come true, you must walk under a hanging lantern and pray for what you want.

So, at the end of the day, people light their lanterns and watch them fly away in the dark sky, accompanied by fireworks. Releasing the lanterns, which are red for good luck, symbolizes people letting go of their past selves and embracing new identities for the coming year.

Another popular activity during the Lantern Festival is to guess lanterns riddles.

Lantern riddles are called 灯迷 dēng mí in Chinese, where 灯 dēng is a lantern, lamp, or light, and 迷 mí refers to a puzzle, riddle, enigma, or conundrum.

The lanterns’ owners write riddles on small strips of paper they attach to the lantern they have hanging outside their home, so visitors can try to guess and solve the riddle.

If the visitors come up with an answer to the riddle (they are usually pretty tough to guess!), they can take off the paper and give it to the lantern owner. If the visitor guessed the right answer, then they win a little gift, given by the owner.

And this is how you change your casual stroll in the streets into a delightful moment by solving riddles. Fun, right?

Lastly, a big Lantern Festival tradition is to eat 元宵 (yuán xiāo) and these sticky balls are so yummy you’d be sorry to miss out on this excuse to eat sweet stuff.

元宵 (yuán xiāo) are sticky rice dumplings that can be stuffed with white sugar, brown sugar, sesame seeds, peanuts, walnuts, rose petals, bean paste, and jujube paste, or any combination of two or three ingredients. For Chinese people, the roundness of the dumplings symbolizes the togetherness as it is a great time for family gatherings.

Here are the locations where you can watch the Lantern Festival:

Grand Canal Spring
“运河之春”灯会


Time: Feb. 19th
Location: Streets in Gongshu District 拱墅区各街道

Wushan
吴山灯会


Time: 5:30pm - 9:30pm, Jan.25th - Feb. 20th (5:30pm - 10:30pm on the 19th)
Location: Cheng Huang Ge, Wushan 吴山城隍阁景区
Tickets: 30RMB/adults, 15RMB/children

People's Square, Xiaoshan
萧山人民广场


Time:  1:30pm - 3pm on Feb. 18th - 20th. Variety performances including singing and dancing, magic, acrobatics, etc.
Location: People's Square, Xiaoshan 萧山人民广场

Xiang Lake
湘湖灯会


Time: Feb. 3rd - 19th
Location: Xiang Lake, Xiaoshan 萧山区湘湖景区

West Lake Culture Plaza
西湖文化广场


Time: Feb. 18th - 20th
Location: West Lake Culture Plaza 西湖文化广场

Qiantang Lantern Affair
钱塘灯会


Time: Feb. 19th - Mar. 4th
Location: Dengxin Lane, Tianshui Street 天水街道灯芯巷

Song Dynasty
宋城灯会


Time: Feb. 5th - 19th
Location: Song Dynasty Themed Park 宋城景区
Tickets: 290RMB

Post-Holiday Weight Loss Plan

If you gained a few pounds over the holidays, you’re not alone. The good news for seniors looking to get back on track is you can bring about weight loss by cutting 500 calories daily from your diet. That’s the equivalent of one bagel with cream cheese.

The bad news, according to a report in the New England Journal of Medicine, is most people don’t lose the one to five pounds they gained during the Christmas and Chinese New Year’s season. Aim to follow these suggestions on this list over the course of a week, and you'll be well on your way to reclaiming your waistline before you've even had a chance to pack up the holiday decorations.

Cut Sugar
The topic about sugar can go on and on, how bad is sugar? The World Health Organization recommends that adults consume no more than 6 teaspoons (about 22 grams) of sugar per day. This seems easy to control, but in fact, if you drink a bottle of any sweet drink, you will exceed the standard.

If you want to know more, we suggest you to watch this film That Sugar Film by Damon Gameau, here is a trial:
https://v.qq.com/x/cover/yxmn5h9ya3rl2e9.html
Damon Gameau becomes a human guinea-pig when he puts himself through a grueling 6 week diet consuming the equivalent of 40 teaspoons of sugar a day. That Sugar Film is one man's journey to discover the bitter truth about sugar. Damon Gameau embarks on a unique experiment to document the effects of a high sugar diet on a healthy body, consuming only foods that are commonly perceived as “healthy.”
Sugar is Sweet or white “poison”?

Drink Water
People often mistake thirst for hunger, so next time you feel like noshing, reach for water first. Drinking also helps you feel full. Some experts suggest sipping water (or iced tea) just before you sit down to a meal. Continue drinking as you eat to add volume and weight to your meal.

Try An At-home HIIT Workout
Try this 25-minute HIIT workout to torch 500 calories: 1 minute, 30 seconds of burpees; 1 minute, 30 seconds of squat jumps; 1 minute, 30 seconds of pendulums; 1 minute, 30 seconds of band jumps; and 1 minute, 30 seconds of bicep curls with bands. Repeat three times with a minute of rest in between. This sequence hits your whole body and the fast transitions keep your heart going. That way, even when the workout is over, you'll still be burning calories.

Opt For A Low-calorie Breakfast
Swap out your regular morning bagel, baozi, youtiao, fried dumplings to immediately slash 240 calories from your breakfast. And instead of flavoring it with spreading some ripe avocado on the whole wheat bread. You'll save yourself another 25 calories and benefit from the "good" monounsaturated fats in avocados, which can help reduce your risk of heart disease. Do this twice a week to cut 530 calories.

Don't Just Sit There
The average person burns 100 calories per hour sitting and 140 per hour standing. Make a point of being on your feet for at least two hours every day, and you could slash an extra 560 calories by the end of the week. Bonus: Taking frequent breaks can help prevent your risk of developing anxiety, heart disease, or certain cancers—all potential side effects of a sedentary lifestyle.

Go Easy on the Alcohol
Remember that alcohol is a source of calories. A 12-ounce beer has 150 calories; a 3.5-ounce glass of wine, 85. A margarita packs a bigger caloric punch. Even worse offenders are creamy cocktails, such as brandy alexanders and mudslides—equivalent to drinking a rich dessert. The bottom line: If you’re trying to lose weight, stick with water. Follow these simple tricks to cut back on alcohol.

Dress Your Salad with A Fork
Prefer your salad dressing on the side? Lightly dip your fork into the dressing before stabbing your greens instead of plunging an already-loaded fork into the condiment (which picks up more) or drizzling it on top. You'll get just enough to flavor each bite and will cut about 500 calories. Another tip: Always opt for balsamic instead of Caesar to save yourself another 70 calories per tablespoon.

Say Goodbye to Soda
There are plenty of reasons to give up your soda habit once and for all. Studies have linked consumption of sugar-sweetened beverages to tooth decay, diabetes, and poor bone health. And diet soda doesn't fare much better—artificial sweeteners such as aspartame and sucralose trigger insulin, which could cause you to gain weight. Start by replacing your daily 12-ounce can with a glass of water for a week, and you'll cut 980 calories. This is probably one of the easiest and best swaps you can make.

Up Your Protein (A Little)
Research suggests that protein prolongs the feeling of fullness better than carbohydrates or fats do. Studies in Scotland, Denmark, Sweden, and England found that people who ate a high-protein breakfast or lunch were less hungry at their next meal. Protein also requires a few more calories to digest. Just don’t go overboard. Stick to low-fat protein sources like low-fat yogurt or cottage cheese, low-fat soy drinks or snacks, or thinly sliced turkey breast.

Go For A Run
Running may be one of the most efficient workouts when it comes to blasting fat. Lace up your sneakers and go for a 60-minute run at a 10-minute-per-mile pace to burn about 600 calories.

Hit the Stairs
Not a fan of long runs? Work off nearly the same amount of calories in half the time by running up and down the stairs in your home. Do this for 15 minutes, and you'll lose 270 calories. Repeat twice a week to torch over 500.

Grab A Jump Rope
We know, we know—it gives you flashbacks to elementary school gym class. But jumping rope is a serious calorie-burner that strengthens your quads, calves, core, and shoulders. Spend 20 minutes jumping rope and you'll burn 240 calories; do this twice in a week to torch nearly 500.

Snack Smart
You may think of it as a health food, but one serving of pita bread contains about 13% of your recommended daily sodium. For a healthier fix, pair hummus with crunchy red pepper slices. This fiber-filled veggie is a great source of vitamins A, C, and K, and will save you 135 calories. Do this four times a week to burn 540 calories in total.

Work Out For Just 10 More Minutes
Whether you're on the treadmill, walking around your neighborhood, or swimming laps, tell yourself to continue on for another ten minutes after you're ready to end your workout. Those extra minutes could help you shed an additional 100 calories. Repeat for five of your weekly workouts to burn 500.

Only 4 months to summer, good luck to you, and we hope you'll get to see a new you in the year of 2019!

Your Fortune in the Year of Pig

2019 is a Year of the Pig according to the Chinese zodiac, and it's an Earth Pig year. Years of the Pig include 1935, 1947, 1959, 1971, 1983, 1995, 2007, 2019, and 2031. In Chinese astrology, each year belongs to a Chinese zodiac animal according to the 12-year cycle.

“Pigs have a beautiful personality and are blessed with good fortune in life.”

Recent years of the Pig are: 1935, 1947, 1959, 1971, 1983, 1995, 2007, 2019
Pigs are diligent, compassionate, and generous. They have great concentration: once they set a goal, they will devote all their energy to achieving it. Though Pigs rarely seek help from others, they will not refuse to give others a hand. Pigs never suspect trickery, so they are easily fooled.

General speaking, Pigs are relatively calm when facing trouble. No matter how difficult the problems are Pigs encounter, they can handle things properly and carefully. They have a great sense of responsibility to finish what they are engaged in.

Pigs in the Year of the Pig (2019)
The year of one’s zodiac sign is their 本命年 (ben ming nian). It is traditionally the most unlucky year with trouble and danger lurking at every corner.

Career: Earth can absorb Water. Earth gives Water the pressure. Earth represents your career. Pig contains Water and Wood, without Earth. That implies you don't care too much about your career development at this time. You are focusing in exchanging and discussing new ideas with your partner. You enjoy the current working environment. Therefore, your career opportunity is okay. But you won't have too much career changes in the near future.
You will meet your business partners or competitors. If your current job is very busy, then your coworkers will help your heavy workloads or someone will guide you how to make your job easier. If your current job is too light and you don't have any job pressure at all, then you need to watch out your position. Someone might take over your job. If you own a business and many business opportunities make you busy, then you will find new business partners working on the opportunities together. If you are a business owner and your business is slowing down, then don't expand your business to new territory during this period.

Job Change: Earth represents you career. Pig contains Water and Wood, without Earth. Your career opportunity is not promising. You probably are not strongly thinking a new job at this moment. If you are looking for a job, you will see many peers looking for the same job. If someone is offering a new position and you don't have too much passion on it, then you can skip that opportunity.

Wealth: Water can extinguish and conquer Fire. Fire represents your money. Pig contains Water and Wood without Fire. That means you don't have significant moneymaking opportunity during this time. You need extra energy and time to earn extra income.
Fire is hard to survive in the water environment of two pigs. Both pigs will compete to own the money of Fire. That's a sign of robbery, overspending or money loss. You need to carefully invest your money. You can ask people born in year of Horse to help your money management.

Love: When a Pig meets another Pig, your social activities will increase. But Pig and Pig have only friendship, not love relationship. If you are female, the Earth represents your boyfriend or husband. If you are male, then Fire represents your girlfriend or wife. Pig contains Water and Wood, without Fire and Earth. Therefore, you probably need more time to find your love relationship.
Pig is connected to your siblings, coworkers, classmates or cousins. If you are single and looking for love, then you will see your competitors out there. You need extra courage and creativity to show your sense of humor and cordial attitude to the potential companion. You will have better chance to meet the ideal soul mate by attending outdoor social events. Also, you can try your love on people born in year of Horse or Tiger.
If you are in love, you need to prioritize your love relationship first. You can look for more romantic time with your lover to avoid someone getting into your relationship. If you are married, then you need to reserve enough time for the family to avoid quarrel at home.

Social Circle: Your social activities will be increase a lot. You will be busy to meet with your siblings, old friends, coworkers or relatives. Therefore, you have good people relationship. Many of them are interested in money topics. If someone invites you to join a business or financial investment, then you need to diligently do the homework before making the decision.

Quarrel: If you have a lawsuit, a dispute or a quarrel with somebody, then you will face a strong equal. This case will last for a long time. It will be time-consuming, labor-intensive and costly. The outcome of this dispute is unpredictable. Therefore, to reconcile with your rival is a good approach.
You can find people born in year of the Horse as your mediator. Horse and Pig have double attractive relationships. Horse can make a settlement with your opponent.

Health: When Pig meets Pig, the disappointment, self-condemnation and negative thinking might often come to your mind. You can have more outdoor activities under sunshine. Walking, hiking, jogging, cycling, sunbathing, gardening, bird-watching and fruit-picking are good outdoor events to bring back your positive thoughts.
Pig is connected to the water in the winter. When it's too cold, then you should pay attention on your kidneys, bladder and the urinary system. Strong Water is unfavorable to Fire. When Fire is too weak, then you watch out for your heart, blood, and the cardiovascular system.

General Fortune: Pig meets its gang with many similarities. They have the same target. But we don't know they are partners or competitors. Carefully dealing with people relationship and diligently managing your money investment is the top priority.

After the analytics of zodiac pig, let’s take a look at the rest of zodiacs.

Rats (Years of the Rat: 1924, 1936, 1948, 1960, 1972, 1984, 1996, 2008, 2020)
Rats will be lucky in their careers. There will be many chances for Rats to achieve their goals. Employees will have a chance to get a promotion. Rats should embrace their good opportunities.
Rat’s health prospects are average in 2019. Rats are suggested to pay more attention to keeping up an exercise routine and have a routine medical checkup.
Rats’ financial prospects are not bad in 2019. They will probably get a salary increase. In addition, Rats can look forward to being lucky with unexpected rewards.
Rat’s love prospects are not that good in 2019. Discord will happen in their love relationships and it will be hard to meet a suitable partner.

Ox (Years of the Ox: 1925, 1937, 1949, 1961, 1973, 1985, 1997, 2009, 2021)
Oxes will be under more pressure but will also earn more. They will need to persevere and be open-minded to understand the situation. They should not be too passive or they will miss out on opportunities.
Oxes don’t have very good health prospects for 2019. There could be hidden problems with their cervical vertebrae. Smoking and drinking are not recommended.
In 2019, Oxes will have good luck with money. Their salary or benefits will improve. Oxes will do well in their investments and be well rewarded.
2019 will be a lucky year for Oxes in their relationships. They will easily meet an attractive partner this year.

Tiger (Years of the Tiger: 1926, 1938, 1950, 1962, 1974, 1986, 1998, 2010, 2022)
Tigers have good career prospects in 2019, with great chances for a promotion. For employees, 2019 is a good year to build a career base. Tigers will get a lot of support from officials or management.
Tigers don’t have very good health prospects for 2019. There could be hidden problems with their digestion system. Tigers also need to be aware of their families’ health.
Tigers have good luck when it comes to finances in 2019 and also have some chances to get unexpected financial gains.
Tigers are not lucky in love in 2019. Female Tigers will fare better than male Tigers but will easily be misled when building a relationship. Male Tigers will be under pressure when communicating and the relationship will be unstable.

Rabbit (Years of the Rabbit: 1927, 1939, 1951, 1963, 1975, 1987, 1999, 2011, 2023)
Rabbits have good career prospects in 2019 with great chances for a promotion. They will be helped by seniors or leaders.
There are no serious health problems predicted in 2019 for Rabbits and they will have an easy year physically.
In 2019, Rabbits will have good luck with money with an improved salary or benefits. All investments will be profitable.
On the relationship front, it will be a rough year and there may be no good news at all for single Rabbits.

Dragon (Years of the Dragon: 1928, 1940, 1952, 1964, 1976, 1988, 2000, 2012, and 2024)
Dragons will be lucky in their careers. There will be many chances for Dragons to achieve their goals. Employees will have a chance to get a promotion. Dragons should embrace their opportunities.
Dragons don’t have a very good health forecast for 2019.
They are recommended to have their health checked regularly and exercise more.
Dragons are destined to have good luck in their finances in 2019. If you are a Dragon, you will enjoy a stable source of financial revenue.
Dragons have good prospects in love in 2019. They will be popular in 2019. It will be easy for them to settle down in a relationship with a loved one.

Snake (Years of the Snake: 1917, 1929, 1941, 1953, 1965, 1977, 1989, 2001, 2013, and 2025)
Snakes won't easily get a career promotion in 2019. The first half of the year will be a tough time for Snakes but their prospects should improve in the second half.
Although it's not a good year to get a promotion, it will be an easier year with a chance for Snakes to improve their skills and achieve more.
Snakes don't have very good health prospects for 2019. There could be hidden problems with their respiratory system. To obtain a healthier and stronger body, they are recommended to train in a fitness center.
It's not a good year for Snakes in 2019 regarding finances. They will have to do a lot of legwork with their investments to get ahead.
2019 is not a good year for male Snakes as they will encounter many competitors. For female Snakes, it's not a bad year and they will be popular. It will be easy for them to settle down in relationships with their loved ones.

Horse (Years of the Horse include 1930, 1942, 1954, 1966, 1978, 1990, 2002, 2014, and 2026)
Horses have good career prospects in 2019 with a great chance for promotion. Their work will also be relatively easy and flexible. They will achieve great progress in research publications, building their reputation, studies, and job portfolio.
Horses do not have good prospects regarding their health in 2019. They might suffer from mental strains for some time. They are advised to have health examinations regularly and to take the time to adjust their minds.
Horses have a good financial forecast for 2019. They will have good returns on their investments but still need to avoid high-risk investments and judge things on their own.
2019 is not a good year for male Horses. Female Horses, however, will be popular in 2019 and will find it easy to settle down in a relationship with a loved one.

Goat (Years of the Goat: 1931, 1943, 1955, 1967, 1979, 1991, 2003, 2015, 2027)
Goats' career prospects are unstable in 2019. Goats will endure a lot of stress in their careers and it’s not a good year to get a promotion.
Goats are not forecast to have very good health in 2019. They will be under pressure and there will be hidden problems with their stomach and gastrointestinal system. Goats are advised to do regular health examinations and to adjust their mind.
Goats’ financial prospects in 2019 are average. There is no big fortune to be made and they might even suffer financial losses.
Goats will have good prospects in love in 2019. They will have an active love life.

Monkey (Years of the Monkey: 1932, 1944, 1956, 1968, 1980, 1992, 2004, 2016, and 2028)
Monkeys will be lucky in their careers. There will be many chances for Monkeys to achieve their goals. As long as they are careful and work hard, everything will go well for them.
Monkeys’ health prospects are average in 2019. They are advised to maintain an exercise routine and have routine medical checkups. In 2019, Monkeys will have good luck with money. Their salaries or benefits will improve. Monkeys will do well in their investments and be well rewarded.
2019 will be a lucky year for Monkeys in their relationships. They will easily meet attractive partners this year.

Rooster (Years of the Rooster include 1933, 1945, 1957, 1969, 1981, 1993, 2005, 2017, and 2029)
Roosters will be lucky in their careers. There will be many chances for Roosters to achieve their goals. Employees will have a chance to get a promotion. Roosters should embrace their good opportunities.
Roosters will enjoy stable financial revenue but there is no big, unexpected fortune to be made. Roosters are destined to have good luck in their finances in 2019.
Roosters' love prospects are good in 2019. They will easily meet an attractive partner this year. Female Roosters will have more luck than male Roosters.
Roosters are not lucky with their health in 2019. People born in a year of the Rooster are typically active and enjoy sports, such as hiking and swimming. Therefore, Roosters should take more exercise to strengthen their bodies.

Dog (Years of the Dog include 1934, 1946, 1958, 1970, 1982, 1994, 2006, 2018, and 2030)
2018 is classed as an Earth Dog year.
Dogs' career prospects are average in 2019. Dogs are ambitious but it will not be easy for them to get a promotion. Therefore, they are advised to focus on their current work.There are no serious health problems predicted in 2019 for Dogs.
Dogs are advised to pay more attention to maintaining an exercise routine and to have routine medical checkups.
Dogs' financial prospects are not bad in 2019. They will probably get a salary increase. In addition, Dogs can look forward to being lucky with unexpected rewards. Dogs like to gain benefits by using strategies.
Dogs' love prospects are lucky in 2019. Dogs are likely to meet a nice person who will reciprocate their feelings. Sometimes, however, they might have conflicts with their partners.

The Greatest Football Team in Hangzhou 解锁新技能?美式橄榄球了解一下

It was a rainy day on April 10th, 2015 when Jake Silbert and Seydi Yougo Ba, two passionate football enthusiasts got together to discuss their plans for a new football team right here in Hangzhou. Two days after that fateful meeting, the Hangzhou Generals had their first ever practice. Fast forward three years and the Hangzhou Generals are one of the twenty teams in the American Football League of China (AFLC). The Generals just had their first ever official league game versus the Wuxi team and even got their first W in that game. 

Football preparation is crucial for the players and coaching staff. This group takes practice seriously. The drills are fast paced and highly intense. At Hangzhou Jiayang Football field (佳杨体育足球场) they practice on brand new AstroTurf every Wednesday night from 8 p.m. to 10 p.m and Sunday morning from 9 to 12. The fee to join the team is 300 RMB for three months which helps cover field costs and practice and equipment. Beginners first learn the basics, then after the two months of player evaluation the coaches will decid which position is suitable for their skills. It is approximately 3000 RMB for the full equipment set which includes a helmet, practice pants, team jersey, shoulder pads, football cleats, and gloves.

 

Off the field, two highly qualified training coaches conduct Saturday morning workout sessions from 9 a.m. to 12 p.m. at Enjoy Fitness, located at the sports training center on 201 Kai Xuan road. The trainers can help to create the right workout program for you and your position.

The Generals philosophy is to be a tough family. Team Members are taught to grow as a group, not as an individual. Seydi once said in a huddle, “I love you all and I hope you love each other”. The players still say that in the huddles now. They comprehend that football is a rough sport, so everyone needs to be as tough as possible. If a player needs to leave the Generals, Seydi really hopes that they can remember the positives of being a General. The Generals are made of players from America, Cameroon, China, Congo, France, and the Ukraine.

 

When Seydi was asked what’s the three-year plan for the organization, he said confidently ‘to win a championship.’ I felt the seriousness in his tone, this coach means business. He understands that they need to keep raising the bar. They want to be the most competitive team in the league.

Seydi and YOUGO SPORTS are making an impact in youth football right here in Hangzhou. Together they operate American football programs. Four years ago, opportunities for young children to play American football were close to none.  Now, children from all ages are getting the chance to be more active and meet new friends from different parts of the world just by playing youth football. Seydi realizes the challenge here, but to him if it is easy, then it is not worth doing. He feels that kids need to be involved in sports, and they must understand how their bodies work.

 

Q & A with Seydi  
More Hangzhou (MHZ);  Seydi (S)

 

MHZ: What drives you to put so much energy into what you are doing? How do you remain on task? 

S: Always improve, a lot of hard work. I must stay focused. People only compliment you when they see results, but I didn’t hear anything when I was in the dirt. Now that the team is growing, people on the outside want to take it more seriously. They see us growing and constantly raising the bar. I need to be patient. I want to help more people and help the community, grow the city and get people together.

MHZ: Tell us a little about the interactions with the fans. Every time there are pictures it is noticeable that the Generals have a good number of supporters.

S: It makes me happy. It makes me proud. A Hangzhou TV program is going to start making a documentary about us and more people will see us and that bring more awareness to the Generals. This means more excited families, friends, and children. More people will be involved. When people bring their kids, it gives them options. It is good for everyone.

MHZ: Explain your journey, you must’ve gotten into sports somehow. What got you into sports and eventually into being one of the founders of the Hangzhou Generals?

S: I grew up in Senegal for many years. I loved sports, swimming, horse riding, and martial arts. I love contact. When I got older I got more into boxing such as Chinese boxing and Thai boxing. I then went to France for school where I got a degree in sports. My brother was also in France playing football. That was the first time I saw the sport. I wasn’t into basketball or soccer. So, I thought I could learn football to play with my brother. Unfortunately, because of bad timing, him and I would not be able to play together, so I didn’t sign up in France.  I eventually started to learn more about sports management. I was in Shanghai for two years. I was looking for a team sport and found the Shanghai Warriors, I eventually got a good job offer in Hangzhou and decided to move to Hangzhou. At the time American Football in Hangzhou was just emerging, and that is where I met Jake. After some time we discussed starting a team.  

MHZ: You being the friendly person that you are and one of the most competitive coaches around, how do you balance coaching and friendship? Because you guys often train together, but you often spend time together off the field.

S: The players understand that I am one of the leaders and coaches on the team. On the field they respect me as a coach. They understand the difference. They know our relationship on and off the field won’t conflict.

MHZ: I am going to mention a couple of players on the roster, please tell me what pops in your head first. 

Charles

S: Fast. One of the first players from the start. I think he is the only player who has been here forever and still doesn’t have his own gear. He is amazing though. What he does on the field is spectacular. He is a great guy for the team. He is always smiling and chanting. I am glad to have him on the team.

Danyil

S: He is focused. He does everything he can to reach his goals. Good athlete. Understands the game. We need more people like Him.

Li Han Tao

S: Puts in so much work. He was shy at first. When we first offered him to be a captain he was humble, so humble. He does a great job, he shares everything. In a game he is the first guy on the ball. Defence and offence. He has that natural desire to coach other people. Always wants to get better, he wants to help any way he can. He helps recruit and helps spread the awareness of our team. We need more people like that. He made the difference to get the ball rolling with our team. He brings so much energy. He now does the team huddle chants. Just a great leader.

Jake

S: First thing that comes to mind is coach. I called him coach first time I met him. He was my first football coach. I slowly got to know him better and better. He started off as my coach, then teammate, and finally my brother. Great guy. I want him to come back. I know he wants to come back. Jake is the reason we have the team. He has helped pioneer development of football in China. He helped Hangzhou and Wuxi. He has had a huge impact growing the sport and bringing people together.

Xiang Wei Yang

S: She is the only female captain in China. She is one of our trainers. She plays cornerback and she is a beast.

MHZ: Sports in Hangzhou is growing. How do you feel of the current level of sports in Hangzhou? 

S: Hangzhou sports market is growing, and that’s good because the city needs more sports teams, sporting goods shop, and sporting events. Hopefully Hangzhou keeps building sporting facilities and fields. It will create more jobs. It is an interesting time. Hangzhou is going more international. Hangzhou will probably soon be on Shanghai’s level. The city wants to attract more foreigners here, so by having more sports and qualified individuals it will be great for Hangzhou.

Click for Hangzhou, Zhejiang Forecast

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