Warnings in March 2014

So I was sitting there with my French/Australian/Singaporean/Greek friend the other day and it got us to talking, as it always does. Anyway we got to chatting about what’s better and what’s worse. UFC definitely beats boxing. That’s for sure. We watch the good stuff every Monday. Though rugby is more physical than American football, the NFL is not without its charms. Belgian beer is better than German beer. My grandma would turn over in her grave at that thought, but it’s true. There’s no better wine on the planet than the good old French stuff. Sorry, you Napa Valley fools. And though I love Chinese food, and Indian food, we had to agree there’s no better food in Asia than Thai food. I just got back from Vietnam and eaten in its “best” restaurants, and had I not been impressed? Pizza? We couldn’t get an agreement on that one as usual, though as a New Yorker, I do have to say the best pizza I’ve ever had was in a little place in Connecticut. The greatest cars? Grandma roll over again. They have to be German. The most outstanding Tour de France rider? Red Bull though he may have had too many, it’s got to be Lance. The longest line we’ve ever waited on aside from Euro Disney or Disney’s Magic Kingdom in Florida, it’s got to be the line for the taxis in the Shanghai train station.

You see that’s how my French friends and I talk. I was asked by this dude who I just went on this bike trip to Hainan with who my friends were, and I had to say that the majority of them (all ten of them) were French. After all, don’t we play the most challenging game of Tarot every Friday together? That has to be one of the most mind bending card games to ever have crossed my hands. But having said that, though I have been to Paris, and I come from New York, I still think Tokyo is my favorite city on the planet. I just might take back my favorite food in Asian comment, and say it’s Japanese. That would be, of course, if I weren’t considering the prohibitive price. You want some superlatives about China, do you? How about the most people I’ve ever see in any one view at once? How about the spiciest food I’ve ever eaten? Thank you, Chengdu. Alright, I’ve got to take that one back as well. Thank Cluck U. How about the biggest bill I’ve ever seen in my life? Thank you, crazy Karaoke night in Shanghai. I’ve had a fantastic month, and that’s due in no small part to a few vacations, and a wonderful family. So for these things, I need to be grateful, and at least once a year I need to feel this way because if I know my French friends, they will have to argue about that as well. Putain de merde! Vivre a 100%!

By Tim Hoerle

Lover / Qin Mi Ai Ren

By Logan Miller

It’s February so we all know what that means; gold digging hoes trading Cupid’s arrow for gold, jewels, overpriced roses, strawberries, and chocolate. It’s called Valentine’s Day, and we put up with it because we’re men, and we’re dumb. So yeah, to hell with that romantic jibber jabber, let’s drink and then fall in love with whatever’s closest! This is an original recipe from yours truly and I figured being in China the cocktail needs an English and Chinese name. Now let’s get down to business shall we?

Baileys Irish Cream
Sugar Cube
2 Ferrero Rocher – Fine Hazelnut
Chocolate Syrup

1. Take a Martini glass and decorate it with Chocolate Syrup. You can get fancy and make a design inside the glass or just close your eyes and conduct an orchestra with the syrup. The goal is to add a chocolate taste to the glass, so remember if your lover loves chocolate a lot or a little.
2. In your cocktail shaker add 1 Sugar Cube, 1 Ferrero Rocher, 15ml Baileys and then muddle the ingredients together.
3. Once you feel the sugar cube and chocolate are sufficiently mixed, add 60ml Vodka, some ice, and shake until the shaker has frosted over.
4. Strain the mixed ingredients into the martini glass. You might have to shake it a few times due to the chocolate pieces getting in the way.
5. Now take that second chocolate and with a sharp knife proceed to shave off small pieces over the glass. This will add to the presentation of the drink, provide additional taste and make you look like an expert to the person you trying to impress. If you haven’t destroyed the chocolate then take a slice out of it and place a piece on the rim of the glass as the last garnish.
6. Finally it’s time to let your lover sip and enjoy.

A few tips:
1. You can find all of these ingredients at your local hypermarket or C-Store.
2. If you happen to have that weird person in the world who does not like chocolate just buy a handful of strawberries and replace the chocolates with strawberries, the Baileys with more Vodka, and repeat the process.
3. Making cocktails with someone can be a truly intimate experience so make a night out of it, worse that can happen is some liquor goes to waste, but the laughs are worth it.

Drink of the month