Warnings in May 2014

After having my bike for more than five years, and keeping a wicked eye on it at all times, on the first night that I left it out, it was stolen. Stupid me I guess, but then again, I wonder where these bikes go because if they simply go to the scrap yard, that would be a damn shame. Me? I would rather them get painted over, and sold for 100RMB to some poor kid one town over. That buyer would certainly have a treat coming to him. And the timing couldn’t have been worse. We had just finished the magazine, and my preparation for what I usually do after each and every magazine is done failed, so I threw a few too many down, and needless to say, I was hurting badly. I was riding the bike at least an hour a day, and trying to be extra healthy to hold off that typical post-end of the month dive into the liquor tank when wham, my bike disappeared, and into the tank I dove like Tom Daley. Then my sleep morphed from dreaming about fantastic orgiastic feasts, to these demonic episodes with little cats dying in my trembling hands due to my lack of care. Instead of waking up well rested at 7am, I was waking up in an ocean of sweat at 4:30am.

So by the end of last month, I was hitting it extra hard, aside from my smoking, I’ll leave that one in me for a bit longer. I’ve gone out on the bike into the fields, around the water, and under the willows more than ever, and all on my new Giant which, like a newborn, I’m never going to leave. Not only that, but I’m trying out new restaurants almost on a biweekly basis, twice a week to be precise. Here I thought that Chinese was the only language with those words that have double meaning. Ignorant me again. Cooking? I’ve started to actually make my way into the kitchen again, and it really wasn’t too inedible. I mean come on now, I can find basically anything I want these days, save French Saturday morning market fare, so why not go into the kitchen? Thank you, Taobao. And so what, it might cost a bit more than it does at home? I would definitely rather eat one well-made Monterey cheese stuffed burger than eat three double cheese burgers from Mackers. Having said that, I now go to Mackie Ds, and have their cheap 8RMB breakfast deal biweekly, now that we’ve sorted that term out. Here’s me again, looking at the world through chahua colored glasses, but hopefully when I take them off, the chahua will still be in bloom. A petal hits the puddle, just after another rain drop adds to that little pool, and I’m stuck inside once again. Oh God, I need a drink of cool, cool rain.

By Tim Hoerle